


Livin' in a lonesome galaxy

by sinousine



Category: Metroid Series
Genre: Fanmix, Gen, Playlist, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21518575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinousine/pseuds/sinousine
Summary: A Samus fanmix I made for my exacting tastes, with explanations for all of the songs. There's a big focus on her loneliness, because I thought it was important.





	Livin' in a lonesome galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to it on [8tracks](https://8tracks.com/sinousine/livin-in-a-lonesome-galaxy-1) or [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvdF5SznWQy4cH33cb87PeH0ajHO_UiNe). Most of these songs are also on Spotify and other streaming services. Please let me know if region restrictions prevent from you listening to any of these songs! I would be happy to help.
> 
> Amanda Palmer, Nicole Dollanganger, and Myrkur are on Bandcamp, which is not region-locked.  
Warning for animal death in "Swan". And there's swearing everywhere. Such is music.

**Tracklisting**  
1\. Enya - Wild Child  
2\. Bat for Lashes - Horse and I  
3\. Bjork - Human Behavior  
4\. Tori Amos - Girl  
5\. Marina Diamandis - Handmade Heaven  
6\. Cocorosie - Animals  
7\. Lovers - My Heart Never Sleeps  
8\. Myrkur - Gladiatrix  
9\. Nicole Dollanger - Swan  
10\. Bjork - Desired Constellation  
11\. Lana del Rey - Change  
12\. Lana del Rey - Get Free  
13\. Amanda Palmer - In My Mind  
14\. Amanda Palmer - Lost  
15\. Kesha - Spaceship

**1\. Wild Child**

_Every summer sun_   
_Every winter evening_   
_Every spring to come_   
_Every autumn leaving_   
_ You don't need a reason_   
_ Let it all go on and on_   
_ What a day, what a day to take to_   
_ What a way, what a way, to make it through_   
_ What a day, what a day to take to, a wild child_

Samus spending her days with Old Bird and Gray Voice, carefree. When I was younger I thought the lyric was "somersault" and not "summer sun", so I imagined Samus doing flips to impress her dads. I think about Samus looking at an orange sunset after a day playing hide and seek.

**2\. Horse and I**

_Got woken in the night  
By a mystic golden light  
__My head soaked in river water  
I had been dressed in a coat of armor  
They called a horse out of the woodland  
"Take her there, through the desert shores."  
__They sang to me,_  
"This is yours to wear. You're the chosen one, there's no turning back now."

Samus has a dream where ancestor ghosts grant her the power armor and a fine steed, reaffirming she's the Chosen One to carry out what the Chozo couldn't finish.

  
**3\. Human Behavior**

_They're terribly, terribly, terribly moody_   
_Oh, human behavior_   
_Then all of a sudden turn happy_   
_But, oh, to get involved in the exchange_   
_Of human emotions_   
_Is ever so, ever so satisfying_   
_And there is no map_   
_And a compass wouldn't help at all _

Humans are weird and unpredictable! Samus' bird daddies warn her. There is much to know before going back to human society.

**4\. Girl**

_from in the shadows she calls_  
_ and in the shadows she finds a way_  
_ finds a way _  
_and in the shadows she CRAWLS_  
_ clutching her faded photograph_  
_ my image UNDER her thumb _  
_yes with a message for my heart_  
_ yes with a message for my heart_  
_ she's been everybody else's girl _  
_maybe one day she'll be her own _  
_everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own  
_ _well I'm not seventeen but I've cuts on my knees_  
_ falling down as the winter takes one more CHERRY TREE_  
_sit in the chair and be good now_  
_and become all that they told you_  
_the white coats enter her room_  
_and I'm callin' my baby_

  
This song reminds me of Samus being a rebellious cadet, filled with anger and reckless abandon. She doesn't care if she falls down and skins her knees, or if she gets into a fight. eventually being interrogated by "white coats" who are interested in her hybrid body. I thought "bluebells" was "bluebirds" at first.

**5\. Handmade Heaven**

_i carry along a feel of unease_   
_I want to belong like the birds in the trees_   
_I sit on my own, look over the town_   
_The skyscrapers glow like they'll never fall down_   
_But in this handmade heaven, it's paradise_   
_Bluebirds forever colour the sky_   
_In this handmade heaven, we forget the time_   
_'Cause birds of a feather fly together_   
_In this handmade heaven, I come alive_   
_Bluebirds forever colour the sky_   
_In this handmade heaven, handmade heaven_   
_Handmade heaven, handmade heaven_   
_And I could no longer ignore_   
_The ivy growing tall_   
_This life don't suit me anymore_   
_The writing's on the wall_

Samus goes to a park in the Federation capital. The park is on a hill and overlooks downtown. She is at peace among the birds and insects. Having time to think, she realizes the army life is not for her any more. She wants to be free.

  
**6\. Animals**

_Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness_   
_Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on_   
_All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided_   
_In the outright abandon of this orphan child_

_Home is on the highway, living on soft bread and solace_   
_I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse_   
_And I wake up half-empty_   
_Only to be filled again with mourning_

_He's my evil shadow dove_   
_My black Palamito_   
_Can't break him like a diamond skull_   
_I can't seem to do so_   
_Can't just rub him out_   
_Like The Mob used to do so_

  
Samus left the army, and now she's living in a space RV eating instant noodles and human kibble. She thinks about what she's done in the name of earning the love of other people, about the "evil shadow dove" (Ridley) she can't seem to rub out or break. There's so many components of this song that remind me of Samus introversion - wanting to live among animals, thinking about mass extinctions, thinking about her dead brother.

**7\. My Heart Never Sleeps**

_i had a passion for strangers and prescription pain killers. _   
_now, is that so bad? i do what i do but i don't do what you did._   
_ we got a wicked ignition and the devil makes three. _   
_i'm just trying to rev up my engine. are you trying to punish me? _   
_you can see the flicker of something i've been trying to find._   
_ we weren't here at the same time. _   
_she was leaving just as i arrived._   
_ she touched my hand as she went past and said, "your heart is all you have." _   
_and if asking for directions proves that you are lost, well, how else you ever gonna, how you gonna get where you want? _   
_come on. _   
_i look at all the things i purchased when i was feeling worthless,_   
_ but the stores became cages holding blank faces and time wasted. _   
_you can tell now that i'm tired, oh, it's exhausting_   
_ to be so diligent in my vigilance, to have a heart that never sleeps._

It was only later in my life that I realized this song was about PTSD. I wonder if Samus buys things out of a need to fill some emptiness.

**8\. Gladiatrix**

_Throw me in the lions pit. _   
_Watch me fight for it. _   
_See your eyes on me. _   
_This is not reality._   
_ I'm still not ready. _   
_They're waiting for me._   
_ But I'm not ready._   
_ I torched their houses. _

Samus fighting enemies while ominous music plays, battling impossible odds. The only traditional "Samus is badass" song on this playlist, unfortunately.

**9\. Swan**

_the swan sang with a broken neck _   
_out by the pool, behind the fence _   
_you can’t forgive me when _   
_you know if i had the gun i’d _   
_choose to shoot again _

_he raised my hands in the backyard _   
_he taught me to be a good shot _   
_you love the sound of sorry _   
_even when you know i’m not _

_in the holy land of broken homes _   
_you still pretend you don’t know _   
_that i took it out back and i _   
_snapped its neck just like _   
_a wishbone and let it die _

  
Before she had the Power Suit, Gray Voice taught Samus how to shoot animals with a rifle. With the justification that they were invasive species and needed to be "put down". Samus thinks back on an animal she killed by wringing its neck, and the extermination of the Metroids. Animals are neither good or evil, sinless. Does she feel remorse?

**10\. Desired Constellation**

_It's tricky when you feel someone has done something on your behalf_  
_It's slippery when your sense of justice murmurs underneath and is asking you: _  
_"How am I going to make it right?"_  
  
Samus thinks back on all the people who died so she could live. Adam...the Baby...countless others. How can she possibly repay this debt?

**11\. Change**

_There's something in the water_   
_I can taste it turning sour_   
_It's bitter, I'm coughing_   
_But now it's in my blood_

_Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care_   
_Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?_   
_I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care_   
_'Cause who am I to wanna try but_

_Change is a powerful thing_   
_People are powerful beings_   
_Trying to find the power in me to be faithful_   
_Change is a powerful thing_   
_I feel it coming in me_   
_Maybe by the time this song is done_   
_I'll be able_   
_To be honest, capable_   
_Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful_   
_Or stable_   
_Maybe it's enough to just be where we are because_

_Everytime that we run_   
_We don't know what it's from_   
_Now we finally slow down_   
_We feel close to it_   
_There's a change gonna come_   
_I don't know where or when_   
_But whenever it does_   
_We'll be here for it_

This song makes me think of the Prime series - the poison in the water and something on the wind. I think of Samus who wants to be able to support others, but feels she isn't strong enough. "When I'm not beautiful or stable" - reminds me of Corruption but just in general.

**12\. Get Free**

_This is my commitment_   
_My modern manifesto_   
_I'm doing it for all of us_   
_Who never got the chance_   
_For [Rundas and the Baby]_   
_And all my birds of paradise_   
_Who never got to fly at night_   
_'Cause they were caught up in the dens_   
_Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind_   
_I want to get off but I keep riding the ride_   
_I never really noticed that I had to decide_   
_To play someone's game or to live my own life and now I do_   
_I wanna move_   
_Out of the black_   
_Into the blue_

  
Samus bikes down a long seaside road before dawn, thinking about her life up until now. Her head's a battlefield sometimes. She doesn't know if she can ever leave the mercenary life - always being someone's tool. The people she loved and lost are the reason she keeps going. Rundas and the Baby, and all her birds of paradise who never got to fly with her. As the sky brightens she makes a promise to be happy and live the life she wants.

**13\. In My Mind**

_And in my mind_   
_In the faraway here and now_   
_I've become in control somehow_   
_And I never lose my wallet_   
_Because I will be the picture of of discipline_   
_Never fucking up anything_   
_And I'll be a good defensive driver_   
_And it's funny how I imagined_   
_That I would be that person now_   
_But it does not seem to have happened_   
_Maybe I've just forgotten how to see_   
_That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be_

_But maybe it isn't all that funny_   
_That I've been fighting all my life_   
_But maybe I have to think it's funny_   
_If I wanna live before I die_   
_And maybe it's funniest of all_   
_To think I'll die before I actually see_   
_That I am exactly the person that I want to be_

  
Despite what everyone may think, Samus doesn't have her life 100% together. She imagines being that ideal person who never loses her upgrades, is good at parking her ship, and never resorts to vices like coffee and addictive video games. She'll probably die and crawl out her grave insisting she forgot to do something. But in the end Samus realizes she is happy with the way she is now.

** 14.Lost **

_Nothing's ever lost forever; it's just caught inside the cushions of your couch and when you find it you'll have such a nice surprise._   
_Nothing's ever lost forever; it's just hiding in the recess of your mind and when you need it it will come to you at night._   
_No one's ever lost forever; when they die they go away but they will visit you occasionally: do not be afraid._   
_No one's ever lost forever; they are caught inside your heart. If you garden them and water them they make you what you are._

  
Samus is at a spaceport and realizes her wallet/keys/cell phone are missing. Again. This keeps happening. She looks everywhere, visiting every single place she was that day. After several hours, she loses hope of ever seeing it again. She goes back to her ship and the Adam AI is there to ask how her day went. Samus reaches for the TV remote and realizes it's missing too. (She doesn't do smart TVs. Only remote-controlled) She turns the living room upside down, checking under every piece of furniture. Finally, she finds the remote control under the cushions of her couch, along with the other thing she lost. Samus breathes a sigh of relief and berates herself for not thinking about it sooner. It must have fallen out of her pocket. She goes to bed, and Adam wishes her goodnight. Samus thinks that the things she loses are rarely lost forever - powerups, spaceships, home planets, mortal enemies, even Adam. If they haven't been literally reborn, they live on in her heart.

**15\. Spaceship**

_I knew from the start _   
_I don't belong in these parts_   
_There's too much hate_   
_There's too much hurt for this heart_   
_Lord knows this planet feels like a hopeless place (oh, hopeless place)_   
_Thank God I'm going back home to outer space (oh, outer space)_   
_I'm waiting for my spaceship to come back to me (ooh)_   
_It's coming back for me_   
_I don't really care if you believe (ooh)_   
_It's coming back for me, yeah_   
_I been living in a lonesome galaxy (ooh)_   
_But in my dreams, I see _   
_'Em come and rescue me_   
_Look up in the sky and there they'll be (ooh)_   
_I bet you'll think of me, then_

  
Recall the scene at the end of Fusion where Samus spaceship comes back for her. But also, she doesn't want people to be sad when she dies. She'll be in a better place and done great things with her life, and a spaceship will take her to the great beyond.

**Bonus**  
Well there's Politics involved in using sassy hip hop songs on playlists about white people.  But I submit these two songs for your consideration. I guess you could imagine Samus listening to these songs while driving or working out.

[Fitness by Lizzo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imvvuW_NetU)  
Get it? Samus is focused on staying physically fit, and doesn't do it to be sexually attractive to men.  
  
[Countin' Up by Rico Nasty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdP75cxwQIU).  
Samus is "the bitch with the long hair". The one and only, despite scores of wannabee bounty hunters challenging her. She's making bank on those completed assignments. Also she hates being cold called because she's busy fighting pirates, don't you see?


End file.
